through 'its' vision

this book wasn't about a story,
this book has its journey,
and i'm gonna take an adventure in it

..then
i tell to myself
'this job isn't thing to be played,
and try to take it seriously!'


I've long away walk through this road

Step by step

rounding my area,
in a circle of area

how might i get out
onto this rounded?

there's a 'who',
who is giving me a light,
another way
out from the circle

without any fear, i believe this 'who'

I don't know what happen in the future,
in my future
and their

but this road has taken me out,
away ahead from my believe,
from my daily..
from my life..
my family,

It's hard
in the first,
but it taking harder in the next step,
and i can't see clear enough what this thing is taking me..
it was just too dark,
too 'not me'

without those light,
i'll don't know
if i were in the dark
***

and
without the dark,
i also won't know if there is a light

dark is my vision,
in those light.
make my hand travel in the world of love without my eyes..
that's why,
my feeling is blur,
my seeing is lost,
even i've got my anxiety,
in my harstful of making,
things of take and give..
which i prefer take it as silent

***

my eyes were closed now,
haven't see
but i can read,
with my 'being'
to understand

my heart
in its scary and doubtful,
tryin to guess every scene which this mind and soul is taking

too move forward?
or backward?
??
i never know..

it's a simple thing
to read,
but
in the contrary
very hard to describe

'bout its exist..
'bout mine..
'bout their 'existance'..

the more i read,
the more i don't understand

the more i try to not understand,
the more i know,
which it was 'there' in 'here',
and also
i'm not anywhere,
except
i was there,
in that very second,
in the same time
..maybe

may i forget,
may i loose it?

may i get stupid
in its story or may i called it as vision,
so i can be..

'someone'